Bittersweet Hell.

It's a Sunday. 8:00 p.m.
I finished all my homework and am sitting on the couch watching a movie.  Looking at the clock every 10 minutes, counting down on how much time I have left before I fall asleep.

My life is average. I wake up at 6, pee, brush my teeth, take a shower, do my make-up, hair, I get dressed, pack my backpack, and head to school around 7:21.
I come home from school around 2:32 everyday, grab a granola bar, and head to work at the elementary school. I stay there until 4:15 and then come home and eat. I put off doing my homework until 8 that night and finally settle in and finish it up before tomorrow. Once I finish the homework and can't put it off anymore, I get ready for bed.

I pray every night. Sorry to get religious on you. But I feel like it's an important detail to this story. I pray that I will be able to have a sleepless night. Literally. Because in my average life, I have dreams. Not the: I hope to be president one day, kind of dream. But the dreams that mothers wish are sweet. And the dreams that sheep try to count. I have dreams. And I have nightmares.

One day, sleeping turned into my enemy.

When I fall asleep, I dream of everything and anything. I have dreams that don't make sense. I have dreams that make me smile. Dreams that make me wish. And some that make me wait.

The catch: they all come true. Literally.

If my dreams come true, my nightmares come true. It stated off as a bittersweet gift. Turned out to be walking Hell. I won the lottery -- All my friends left me. I received a kiss from my crush -- My parents die. I could never win. Until that one night.


It was a Sunday. 8:00 p.m.
I finished all my homework and was sitting on the couch watching a movie.  Looking at the clock every 10 minutes, counting down on how much time I have left before I fell asleep.

I keeled down to pray, for that sleepless night I wish upon every night. I drag myself in bed and fight to keep my eyes open. I loose. My eyes close, and that's where my story began.

Did I have a dream or nightmare?

Am I going insane? Or is this all true?

Will I ever be cured?  

Will I live long enough to figure out my reality? 

Help me catch my dreams.