Fear

I can't breathe.

I don't want to breathe. Holding my breath so you won't hear me, I close my eyes and count to 100. Pleading and praying to God to let me live. I control my sobs while straining to listen to your movements. Trying to figure out how close you are to discovering that your not alone.

Crouched in the corner, trying to vanish by squeezing my legs to my chest, and hiding my nose into my knees. Secretly hoping to suffocate. Silence.

Silence.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . nothing.

I slowly lift my head, wanting to gain hope that you have left, but not taking the chance. Stretching out to my full height, I take the first tentative step towards the closed closet door. I see my shaking hand timidly push the door open slightly. Stop.

What am I doing? My chest tightens, my vision goes white, my mind goes blank, I turn cold, sweat covers my body from in between my toenails to the roots of my hair. 1,000 pounds pushing into my shoulders. My heart floods. I'm afraid. My legs give out as I collapse to the floor hoping you can not smell my fear.

I listen.

I listen to the even breaths. . . .

1. .

2. .

3. .

4. .

5. .

6. .

7. . . seconds to realize that they're not mine.